The joy of sex

Right, now that the title has possibly grabbed your attention, I can say that it's all a lie MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cough* Sorry about that. I was just going to be honest and say I'm going to sit and bitch about being unemployed but, let's face it, I'm not the only one out there in this situation. Plus sex is a lot more interesting than an "omfg being unemployed suxorz" post. Well I suppose it actually depends if you are having interesting sex or not but, I digress.

So, I've been unemployed for just under two years now and of course, it sucks major donkey balls. If you can imagine the donkey being two metres tall, balls like watermelons and with an insatiable crack habit. Every job I've applied for I've either had no response or, I've had an interview and then had no response telling me whether I'd got the job or not.The unemployment rate in my town is stupidly high, pretty much most lower end trained monkey work usually gets close to a thousand applicants just for a couple of positions. I know I could have possibly done more to get work than I have, but there is only so much shit one person can trawl through and come out the other side smelling of roses. When I go to hand out my CV's now rather than being my optimistic self, I hand them out as if I'd just farted in a space suit. I have completely lost all my motivation for applying for jobs, I know it's the wrong attitude but I'm so fed up with it I couldn't actually care.

Most of the jobs that are going anywhere near where I live, are the usual "must have previous experience" jobs. You know, like cleaning floors or wiping shit off bathroom walls. That sort of thing where previous experience is vital. Looking through the list today I found a real good one, "Apprentice sheet metal worker - Must have previous experience". So let me get this straight. You are offering an apprenticeship, where normally, the applicant would have no experience in that field. Yet you specify they must have worked with sheet metal before. Well that sounds spiffing! Let me go hammer out a fucking breastplate so I can show you I has mad skillz, then you can teach me how to work with metal. Way to go geniuses, why don't you offer driving lessons for somebody who can already drive?

I know my bitching may seem a little petty but fuck it, I'm in a petty mood right now. I know there's better things to worry about, and I'm sure compared to some people I have it pretty good. Still I think we all need to bitch about the petty things in life sometimes. Anywho, I'm going to go off and worry about the serious things in life now. Like a squirrel invasion, they shall ride into battle on the backs of tamed weasels and we must work out a plan to stop them!

Wow that was longer than I had planned. Oh well, if you've had the patience to read down this far then I'm sure you deserve a treat.

Here's a picture of a cat wearing a hat.